Grrl Power #1464 – Hammer quest
Obviously, Dabbler should run this up the chain of command. As a “civilian specialist,” there is surely a hierarchy she’s supposed to answer to, or there would be if Archon, and Arc-SWAT specifically was the size of a single company. As it stands now, I’m not sure they even qualify as a platoon. (For the non-military types (myself included) a squad is 7-14 troops, a platoon is 3-4 squads, and a company is 2-4 platoons. The exact numbers vary a lot depending on which military and which branch you ask.) But since Arc-SWAT is so small, really she only answers to Maxima, and that’s really only when Max feels like it’s worth taking her to task. Maxima is a wildly, unrealistically permissive commander, and the only way it works as well as it does is because I don’t like writing about the sort of baggage the typical “TV Drama” character has. You know, the police captain only got his position because he grew up best buds with the guy who became the lead gangster of their city, the sergeant is secretly hooked on laudanum, this detective is using a network of unapproved C.I.’s, that one is dating a defense attorney, this one is in a love pentangle… Stuff like that.
Basically nearly everyone at Archon is there because they’re mostly good people who like their jobs and do them. I know it’s not terribly realistic, but I’m writing a funny webcomic, not a super powered spin-off of The Wire. Actually, I guess that’d just be “The Boys,” wouldn’t it?
So, Dabbler in on board. There may be consequences. I guess Sydney finally found something to spend her rich person money on. Heh, I realize I wrote on that page Sydney saying “I’ve gotten used to my fancy new lifestyle,” but she hasn’t changed her lifestyle at all. She’s still driving the same Honda Element I think I’ve put in the comic all of one time. She’s still in that same apartment. The biggest change, besides her job, is the comic shop has moved to much nicer digs, from a strip mall to a repurposed church. (Which is modeled almost exactly after the one my parents dragged us to every Sunday until I went to college. I mean, why make up a different layout that I would undoubtedly accidentally change every time I drew it?) She probably hasn’t even upgraded her internet or anything like that because she’s only spends a few nights a week at her apartment any more.
Dabbler probably shouldn’t wear lavender. It’s odd, actually. Exotically skinned characters are slightly limited in what colors they can wear, because if your skin has a strong primary tone, there are some colors that conflict with it pretty dramatically. Whereas most human skintones… aren’t really a color. I mean, they are, of course, but they’re not bold, saturated colors that clash easily. Obviously, no one should wear something like a lose top that goes halfway down their butt, and then skintight leggings that are the exact color as their skin tone. But that applies to any skin tone, not just a white, brown or black person. Although, seeing a woman with especially dark skin wearing “Caucasian” leggings has definitely made me do a double take a few times. But that’s about something messing with expectations out of the corner of your eye, not about color clashes.
These are some of the things I think about when I’m picking colors for Dabbler and Cora and Altus’s clothes. I guess Sylv too, though he’s a less saturated green, and the clashes usually happen at the more saturated end of the spectrum.
Sexy bodymod news lady Gail has a special one-on-one interview with Tournament Quarter finalist Saraviah Nightwing! And if you subscribe to Gail’s Space Patreon, (which, due to the vagaries of Earth and Gal-Net’s DNS servers, happens to be the same as the Grrl Power Patreon, go figure) you can see that same interview in the nude! Well, eventually. The nude part of the interview, as well as the version that includes shading will be coming soon. Of course, you can view the interview in the nude now if you take your own clothes off. You know. Technically. Just put a towel on your chair first.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
Huh, this is the first time I’ve gone to check the comments and there were none
And… Sydney just made my day.
They should ask Deus to sponson the project. That massive nerd would be as enthusiastic about it as Sydney is.
I don’t know, an Int-Debuff weapon could actually be viewed as a threat to him. He might still go for it purely for geek value but I think he is already cautious about Sydney’s chaos factor
The trouble is that if you build a magical weapon like that fate will demand that a suitable nemesis turns up. Porky Pig? The Acme Corporation’s legal department (see Acme Vs. Coyote)? Batman?
Hehe, someone’s been reading El Goonish Shive. :-)
Yeah yeah, I know, Dan is not the only one, he’s just the only one I know who put lore behind it.
That would be an interesting crossover- Cheerleadra showing up in GrrlVerse.
Damn, what happened to handing out advanced technology to unadvanced civs? Also something tells me the some of those components can’t to be bought with US paper dollars. Maybe. We’ll see. Plus the PR consequences of Sydney using a maul that gives you…temporary brain damage? This is going to be fun.
…has Dabbler always had 4 fingers on each hand and I’m noticing only *now*, 1.5k pages in? It would appear so. My powers of observation are unrivaled.
It’s funny? As opposed to being gruesome.
I suppose those apes might eventually monkey up something out of the tech, though that would depend on their taking it away from Sydney to tear apart. Which might not go well.
Also, Dabbler already knows Deus is getting hold of tech he couldn’t build himself from the Alari. Who are more interested in building out their colony/refuge than silly Xenovarchy bureaucratic mickey mouse about tech transfer.
Place your bets: If this maul actually gets made, would Sydney actually be the first to use it, or will Maxima meet someone she wants to give a good hard whack?
Considering that Max job is to herd cats like Sydney and Dabbler I can imagine that she would at least be tempted to use it often.
Not if there’s an intelligence debuff on it. The last thing you want a cape on your side to be is not able to think through the consequences of using a power.
One of the points i repeatedly disagree with the author on.
Is the idea that Max is a wildly and unrealistically permissive commander.
She isnt.
As she isnt in charge of a group of easily replaced conscripts.
She leads a bunch of UNIQUE assets. Who all could likely get higher offers elsewhere.
You dont see any millionaires sign up for the army either.
So you cant run the regular and useless shouty military style leadership when you
need your troops more than they need what you can offer.
This, 100%.
ARC-SWAT kinda reminds me of how the SAS operated during WWII.
Or at least how it’s portrayed in SAS: Rogue Heroes (which is not a history lesson, yet is well worth a watch).
The shouty, saluting military style doesn’t work on their operations as they have to follow different rules, if there are any.
They also share information that other military units would keep to command ranks. This is so any member of the unit can complete the objectives.
Don’t generally use ranks or surnames so they don’t do so on ops.
And so on, and so forth.
I agree. Also, in my experience, real military is not the super-strict, shouty type you see in movies. Basic training can be very strict and shouty, but once you get out of initial training and into your regular unit, it can be very chill. It’s a Job.
Even within a given military, for example, the US Army, there is a wide variety of unit types, resulting in very different unit sizes and subcultures. Infantry is very different from Field Artillery, from Tankers, from Engineers.
I see Arc-SWAT as a special forces-type platoon, which is going to have its own way of doing things. I think Max’s level of relaxedness is very realistic for their type of unit.
Yeah, while I have almost no experience with the US military (who are famous for being full of themselves with their “Shouty Military Discipline”, it actually does track with the kind of unit Archon is.
Highly exclusive units only take trustworthy people (who are generally good people) who are very good at their jobs and then motivates them to do it. Those are people who have options and need to want to be there. So the unit gives good conditions to it’s people, they are only strict about discipline stuff that is directly relevant to the mission, they explain broad picture stuff so the people will know what to do, and they generally try to keep the service as pleasant as they can.
Even in less exclusive units, as long as you trust the soldiers and they want to be there, there is no reason why the commander can’t be friendly to their soldiers.
design? I’m afraid the design is set in stone, it needs a 3 to 4 ft shaft, all black, with a 5t written on the side of the head for comedic value
It absolutely has to also produce an illusion of tweety birds flying in a circle around the victim’s head afterwards, too. That’s non-negotiable.
Hey, “strawberry blonde” Harem actually has something approaching strawberry blonde, not pink. That’s the first time in… ever?
[Also, debuff is usually spelt with a double-f]
To be fair a stun weapon would be good for Sydney as it is a safe non lethal weapon that could be pulled out if needed to defend herself while also ensuring that if someone does take the weapon from her it will not be able to be used to immediately kill her.
A very valid risk considering you can be possessed, suddenly have a super power villain pop up in front of you, and her current equipment does lack a few safer methods in disabling anyone who jumps up in front of you as while she is getting military training she is mostly still used to being a civilian with government backing to being a super hero.
Also it could be useful for anyone in charge to stun her if she does get out of hand.
“Brain no thinky good” hammer might not be such a good idea though. Stupid people can do weird things.
Syd wants to make a Clue bat!!!! I AM HERE FOR IT!!! because it follows a oft repeated phrase of mine, “Stupidity should hurt.”
Dabbler doesn’t need to run this up the chain of command at all.
She is fully allowed to do work besides her current job as a contractor for the military.
It’s her design and her tech.
She’s a supernatural being and thus allowed to know about council affairs and ask questions.
She won’t be conducting any violence or public occurences(could be an issue for people in the military)
I’ve hired soldiers to do construction work. As long it’s not done in the time of the boss they’re free to do it.
She might need to pass this by the Xenocharchy about whether this complies with export restrictions.
I don’t think they’ll have a big problem with it.
It’s a crappy weapon and uses mostly magic, which seems to be less tightly restricted than tech, but it’s still a weapon granted to an earth citizen by Dabbler.
Well, we don’t know how the exclusivity clause in her contract look like (she definitely has one and can’t freelance as a mercenary for North Korea or something) but she was in a position to negotiate the details and Archon are generous so my guess is that indeed she doesn’t need Max’s permission.
She definitely should tell her about it though, regardless of her contract or chain of command.
I agree. At most, it would maybe be Sydney who might need to run it by Max for permission to use it, and that would likely be as far as it goes. I do not think Max would have any issue with Sydney being equipped with a stun weapon.
Dabbler already has a hammer that statisfies most of Sydney’s requirements.
In #231 she uses an amnesia hammer to wipe someone’s memories.
It seems to be a pure mana construct, so making it Sydney usefull might still require some changes, but it’s a good place to start.
Am I missing some detail related to the hammerspace constructs?
Harem has limits on what she can teleport along with her. But if Dabbler gave her a(some) hammerspace glyphs? She could be a walking arsenal.
We know enough to say we don’t know enough.
For instance, if you still feel the full mass of anything stored in a glyph, that’s irrelevant to Maxima, but would pretty much stop Harem using it and teleporting.
Good point, but there are two types of hammerspace-style constructs mentioned in the comic so far. Dabbler’s arm is a magical teleporter, not technically hammerspace. A variety of weapons and tools are physically stored elsewhere and teleported as needed. Giving such a teleporter to Harem would unquestionably violate the “no give advanced tech to primitives” rule.
The Glyph-scabbards appear to be different. The concept hasn’t been fully explained, but one fan theory is that the object (sword, comedic maul, whatever) is physically there with the person, just stored somehow out of site and not taking up physical space and only one object per scabbard. But to avoid violating F=MA rules, the “scabbard” has the same mass as whatever object is inside it. Not an issue with Max’s strength, but would eliminate the possibility of just covering the body of someone like Harem with a hundred glyphs.
Calling it now the intelligence debuff hammer is going to be a Chekhov’s gun for Deus
Somewhere there is a British counterpart to Sydney who has suddenly gone twitchy because they are sensing that someone is going to make a weapon that’s Mallet’s Mallet adjacent! IYKYK.
Not to be confused with Mullet’s mullet?
Didn’t Dabbler pull out an amnesa hammer/maul at some point? “A way to not ruin their sex lives after being with me.”?
Confirmed. Sydney is mentally a puppy.
:)
Not where I thought this would go.
I thought Sydney was going for a space adjacent glyph to conceal/store her artifact balls.
Not sure what the practical difference between a hammer and a maul is. Looks and sounds like the same weapon with different names.
A maul has a spiky ball or an enlarged head with spikes. A war hammer is a large hunk of squared metal with maybe spikes on the business end, and a point on the other. Dabbler has a forget-me hammer like the ones they use at carnivals for the game where you hit a pad and try to ring the bell at the top of a slide, which are all rigged so it’s almost impossible to do.
I always thought a maul was a hammer on one side and an axe or pickaxe on the other. But the internet is telling me that a maul is a big hammer, so…?
Generally speaking a hammer is one handed and a maul is two.
“Sledgehammer” doesn’t fit that, but then it’s not intended as a weapon.
Two-handed “unbalanced” melee weapons are pretty specialized, they’re intended for use in groups where someone else can defend you while you use it. By unbalanced I mean something you have to wind up a bit for.
Though even two-handed weapons are much lighter than you would think. There’s pretty much no melee weapon out there that even approaches the weight of a sixteen pound sledge.
This reminds me of “Megamind’s” forget-me-stick. At this point I think Sydney needs a silly musical intro with the following line like “That’s Sydney!” lol. Of course she’d get all excited and forget that she’s in a living room and slam into or over furniture. Max drops her head into her hand and sighs with frustration. Cora asks if she’s ok with a huge grin while her huge furry boyfriend would run his medial scanner over her the the 12th time this week. A huge maul that looks like a kids inflatable toy that makes people go stupid for a minute IS funny, until you’re the target. I strongly suggest Sydney NOT try to use it on Max…
I feel as though Dabbler might benefit from collaborating with Zeus (formerly known as Jerry) from “El Goonish Shive” on this project.
But then the “Hammerspace Glyph” wouldn’t be needed, once the Artifact is built and powered up, anyone on Earth who knows how, is female, and sufficiently offended by a comment made by a male, could summon a Stun Hammer. It’s not hard to learn, either. One character did it immediately after being transformed into a female form, on pure instinct.
i imagine Arc-SWAT is organized like the GI-Joe team is in the comics rather than a formal military unit. While there is a formal chain of command members have serious autonomy. The unit size fluctuates and teams are formed on an ad-hoc basis to do various missions. And the whole thing is composed of members from various branches of the military, civilians, and in Arc-SWAT’s case alien and supernatural species.
To me, it feels like the core team is pretty much set. But you do not need the whole platoon for every mission.
What is considered a squad and a platoon can also vary within a given military, depending on the unit type. For example, I was in the US Military in an Artillery Battery (Company-type element), but our scales were much smaller. And the size of the elements within an artillery battery can also vary depending on the artillery type. For my unit, our squads were 3-4 soldiers, with 4 squads making a platoon, 4-5 Platoons making up a Battery. Infantry units tend to be much larger.
I see Arc-SWAT as similar to a special forces-like type of unit, which I can see as being a little looser in discipline to a point. There were plenty of times within my own unit where things felt very relaxed. Not as strict as you see on TV. As long as we are getting the job done and not breaking any major rules or laws, my sergeants were very chill and cool.
I feel like worrying about clashing colors for Dabbler is a lost cause when the baseline is purple, teal, and bright blue hair. I always assumed maximum clash was her goal, for attention-drawing purposes.
Show, don’t tell
Wait dosnt the squeaky maul of memory erasure count? no physical harm just some memory holes. where she got the idea in the first place.