Grrl Power #1371 – People aren’t wearing enough astro-hats
“General Faulk, I cannot believe you risked America’s two most important defense assets on bloodsports and gambling! What do you have to say for yourself?”
“What I have is access to a space ship. Do you have a space ship, Senator?”
“Well, we can rent one from private industry…”
“Can it travel 3,500 light years in two days?”
“Not… currently…”
“Two, holla holla, I got some space dolla!” (<–Paraphrased, as this something Faulk would never say.)
“I see. And… what can we purchase with this ‘space dolla’?”
“Some magic space thing that will make your constituents happy enough to keep re-electing you until you are able to bleed the system dry and retire an incontinent, withered old husk. Like a space-sampo or… I don’t know. Space racism.”
“Here is your medal, Faulk.”
Aaand scene.
BTW, a “sampo” is something that might only exist in one movie done by MST3K, called “The Day the Earth Froze.” It’s one of those Russo-Finnish films (the original title is “Сампо,” apparently pronounced “SAM-po”) where some witch kidnaps a girl, and the “hero” and his blacksmith buddy who is the girl’s… brother (?) sail off to rescue her. The hero basically does nothing, whereas the blacksmith makes a (living) horse that the hero rides around and clears some field of snakes, then the blacksmith, at the witches request, makes a sampo, which is a magic thing that makes gold and wheat, as I recall. Which is an odd combo for a magic item, but presumably the story was maybe from a legend originating from poor Russian peasants, or was made to entertain poor Russian peasants, and while most people would be fine with a thing that just spit out gold, a poor Russian peasant might almost be more interested in the wheat.
I’m not sure it ever was a proper Russian fairy tale, as if you google it, I think the first thing that comes up is the MST3K episode. So maybe it was just invented for that movie. But I thought I’d reference it in the above dialog, so the few people who get it before reading all this will feel special.
The vote incentive is finally done!
The update to the TWC image is pretty minor, but the Patreon version has the bonus comic as well as nude versions. I will strive to make the next one more timely.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
Get a space tug something easy to repair and set your engineers/scientists loose. RnD will love it. And it with it you can make/learn space tech.
they already did that what they really need is a bread knife that toasts the bread as you cut it (and if you get that reffrence you likly see my logic)
It’s funny that after all these years one thing I definitely remember from MST3K is that particular movie, and SAMPO!
I have to ask, why do stories keep saying Magic-x or space- unit instead of what it actually is? Calling a car a magic car doesn’t charge what it is used for. Do we go around being particular about calling something an earth-car or Earth-scissors?
Reminds me of DBZA and all the times space-everything was mentioned. For example one of the Ginyu Force guys was (as he said himself) from Space Australia and specifically from Space Brisbane.
I mean, we DO make the distinction of “Electric Cars” or “Race Cars”. “Magic Car” is just a very-nebulous generalization of a different in-universe-poorly-understood type of “Car, but different”. In a world of modern culture exposed to dramatic new technology, that seems like EXACTLY the kind of lay-person oversimplification we’d use to talk about crazy paradigm-breaking physics-defying wonkiness.
Space Whatever is a well established trope of Earth writers not having to come up with and explain new names for things, yet still add an exotic alien flair. Yes it is overused, yes it is geocentric. Sometimes either are played up for comic effect. Faulk can say Galaxy-bucks and not have to know the name of a currency widely used in the galaxy. Space-phone means FTL communicator in less syllables, and will not be mistaken for a cell phone.
Real names might not be important to the story. When the team is wearing their astro-hats and playing with foreign toys, we can guess where they got the foreign exchange reserves.
Cora is probably joking about literal head worn planetary models with orbiting satellites. Although it would be hilarious if the crazy dangerous bloodsport bet paid off with such novelties.
I feel there are two plot holes here.
One, like Maxima can never take leave. Nor resign as they need her for her power.
Two, I have a hard time swallowing that the military would allow themselves an all the eggs in one basket situation like this. ARC Swat should be sufficient without her presence or they don’t need the rest of the team.
In this case, it’s not the military ALLOWING anything… They don’t have a choice. The military is based on a certain… Homegenization. Sure, the troops are individuals, but give a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand, individuals all the same training and equipment and you get a reliable average to work off of.
That just does not work with supers, at all. They HAVE to be trained and equipped and treated invidiually, because all their powers are different. You can’t just MAKE someone as powerful as Maxima, nor can you get Maxima to spread her power around in any fashion. You can’t pick and choose what supers you work with, either, you get what you get and that’s it. You can turn away a super who isn’t useful enough, but supers are a rare commodity and they are definitely not made to order.
So while the military surely doesn’t LIKE how reliant they are on one individual, or the inevitable concerns about Maxima retiring (Or worse)… What are they going to do about it? Earth is in a VERY precarious position right now – Publically, given their sudden reveal of aliens and now providing refuge to an alien race, one that was presumably targeted and may or may not have had other enemies in the galactic community, plus Maxima’s show of force is a risk as well now that’s that public. All this stuff about the Superion Field, if that ever becomes public things get even more dangerous for Earth. They can’t AFFORD to not have Maxima around, they can’t NOT rely on her right now because she’s their only option for keeping the people safe in this very delicate time.
The militaries, the governments, the entire species, is reacting as best it can to an, effectively, unprecedented situation. They’re doing the best the can, but supers existing upends MOST of society, even if Dave isn’t focusing on that in the comic (That’s not a complaint, focusing on that too much would ENTIRELY change the tone of the comic, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t going on in the background). They HAVE to be flexible, and willing to do things they otherwise would not, because that’s just how things are now, and nobody has a choice about it.
If Maxima takes normal leave, like to the beach in Hawaii or hiking in the Rockies or something like that they still can call her in and she will be there in like 2h tops. It’s about response time. Her being days away is a problem, not her being out at all.
I see the point. Though it seems way over used. At some point it’s like writers took lessons from Batman and how he describes all his tools. Even when it’s a normal thing.
This was meant to be on an earlier post.
Of course my Astrohat would have the Jetsons dog on it.
Finland would like to look at you with withering scorn and disappointment for conflating them with (ptui) RUSSIA.
The Finnish National Epic Poem, the Kalevala, the most coherent of the middle-and-east European traditional mythos, is the origin of the story of the Sampo and is also the story-source of the movie that Joel and the Bots roasted.
Sampo could also make salt. The Finnish inventor of legend or his “hero” buddy set it to salt, dropped it in the ocean, and that is why the sea is salty. He couldn’t turn it off. That bad movie just didn’t have enough psychoactive drugs and cgi money to make a real run at the myths.
Is it just me, or is Cora’s hand upside down in panel 3?
Oh, wait, her hand is palm outwards. Can barely see the lines in her palm.
Sampo is a magical device that makes anything- forever if you let it. One was making salt and fell into the ocean– making it salty.
Source: Original D&D book 4: Deities, Demigods and Heros
Dat face Maxima is making in the last panel!!!!!
It’s a face that saying “You are not getting me to wear one of those!”
It’s from Finnish mythology:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sampo
It seems unrealistic to me that the General talked himself into this risky scheme based on the possibility of acquiring merely some spacebucks and space souvenirs, rather than unlimited quantities of space hookers and galactic blow.
Maybe he talked himself into it to see more of the space-fights, because they do sound pretty awesome.
Still getting 403’d… again
Dear GOD, the looks in panel 5…..if there were EVER a mistake made about Max’s sexual preference based on a LOOK…….THAT PANEL just SCREAMS ‘we are SO going to Bang later….’
I do recognize that, for Max and Cora, ‘Banging’ will involve no sexual organs (Sorry Cora) and instead may involve larcenous amounts of explosions, blasts, destruction, and possible profit…..but GOD that PANEL!
Given a choice between a device that made wheat or one that made gold, take the one that makes wheat.
With wheat you can get gold, with gold you can only get wheat if there is any to buy…and no matter how much you have of it, you can’t eat gold. Well, you can, sort of. They add gold foil to all sorts of overpriced dishes, and then there’s that gawdawful Goldschlager liquer with less than a dollar’s worth of gold in a litre bottle, but gold by itself won’t keep you alive.
About the sampo – you can find out in this story from Don Rosa how it is based in scandinavian mythology:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Quest_for_Kalevala