I wish I had a cleaning cantrip. There’s a lot of decent options when it comes to cantrips, but in everyday real life? A little bacon spatter on the stove top? Cleaning cantrip. Inside of the microwave after heating up a bowl of something a little spattery? Cleaning cantrip. The spot behind your monitor getting dusty? Cat hair all over your shirt? Need to squeak one more wear out of your favorite bra? You know it, cleaning cantrip.

Okay, yes. Guidance (+1D4 to ability checks), Control Flames, Gust, Mage Hand, Mending, Prestidigitation, Thaumaturgy, and Vicious Mockery would also be useful, (the last one only if it worked when posting snarky comments online), but Clean really beats them all for everyday use. Yeah, I know Clean isn’t a D&D 5e Cantrip, at least it’s not on the official list because there’s virtually no combat use for it. I don’t even know if that’s true. An adventuring team a dozen strong all with Clean could definitely piss off a Neo-Otyug. Still, you got to figure there’s a ton of cantrips that didn’t make the Tome of Arcana cut, like, Tune Instrument, Timer with Audible Alarm, Fit – to make clothes that are like half a size too big or just a little tight under the armpits fit better, Make Wobbly Chair or Table not Wobble, stuff like that. Man, that last on would be nice. It really bothers me when a table in a restaurant is tumping back and forth like you’re trying to play Labyrinth with your appetizers.

The July vote incentive is finally up! There was a disagreement about digitigrade and plantigrade leg configurations. What better way to resolve it than a race?

And in the Patreon variant, what better way to resolve it than a nude race? You know, to eliminate uh… wind drag I guess?



Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.