Grrl Power #1454 – The three ages of Maxima
See, page title comes from Maxima being shown at three different ages there across the bottom of the page. Granted, the older version is a bit speculative. And sure, there’s more than just the three ages. Maybe 9 year old Maximillia got up to some interesting adventures. Like she was some sort of neighborhood pre-teen Nancy Drew, solving the mystery of the missing cookies, the missing homework, the dog that had a lot of paper in its poop, stuff like that. I’m not saying that’s the case, just that Maxima probably had some “ages” before she got gilded.
I vaguely remember in D&D… I think 3rd edition, possibly others, haste potions were supposed to age your character a year every time you used one. Which is a terrible trade off considering they only lasted 10 rounds. So for 60 seconds, you get one extra attack and can run twice as fast. And in exchange you lose a year of life? Granted, a speed potion could definitely be the deciding factor in a life or death fight, but unless you’re an elf or a dragon (or possibly a vampire, not sure about that one) that’s definitely a tactic of last resort. (Dragons become more powerful with age, so it actually benefits them. Vampires probably have to be feeding regularly to benefit from age, but since humans don’t starve to death after using a haste potion, I assume it has no detrimental effect on a vampire.)
I think they changed the after-effect to losing a round to exhaustion, because otherwise, that’s a little terrifying. A few year-sucking potions could cut decades from a human adventurer’s career, and I think halflings and half-orcs have shorter average lifespans than humans. In “realistic” superhero novels and some of the more grim comics, super speed is one of those powers with such terrible drawbacks that as soon as you realize you’re aging faster, you’d basically stop using it. Granted, judicious use of super speed wouldn’t really add up to all that much. You get into a fight, use super speed for 10 seconds of your local time, and win the day, easy peasy. The problem comes from when the super speed character runs across the country, or reads every book in the library to find the clue. Running east to west coast across the US took one ultramarathon runner 42 days. Reading every book in a library could potentially take months, or possibly centuries, if they have a comprehensive copy of the Tax Code, or any book they asked us to read in high school. Seriously, Bleak House, go fuck yourself. I mean, it’s called Bleak House. I could barely get through the cliff notes.
Anyway, if the super speedster experiences time in real time local to him no matter what speed he’s going, and Batman says I have to run across the country to get the disarming key to a Joker bomb in time, I would quit the team. Okay, I’d probably go and disarm the bomb, but I’d steal a bicycle, and that’s assuming my powers can’t be extended to cover the Batmobile, cause if they could, I’d fucking steal that. But then I’d quit.
Finally, here we go! I took the suggestion that I just use an existing panel for a starting point, thinking it would save time… I guess it technically did, but a 5 character vote incentive just isn’t the way to go.
Patreon, of course, has actual topless version.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
Has someone been playing Dispatch? ;)
No, but it’s in my wishlist. I really ought to pick it up.
good luck with it. I think I made it to nearly 30 seconds of gameplay before I got frustrated. it’s like trying to play Secret of Monkey Island without a walkthrough
Gen X level game play eh?
I remember when I got Mega Man X and the Mega Man Collection. I was slaying at X, so I queued up MM2 for some old school fun. Could not even reach a single boss. I knew games were getting “easier” but the power slide was rediculous.
That Betty White Maxima might be the most blursed thing Dave has ever drawn.
How are Sydney and Maxima sharing a hallucination in the last panel?
as to haste potions that was second edition… as an amusing anecdote my brother tried playing curse of the azure bonds using less characters and lots of haste spells and his characters all died of old age…
The video game version?
The way around that in 2e DnD was to buy an Amulet of Perpetual Youth. This would absorb 5d6 years of aging, before ceasing to function. A friend of mine would use it to nullify the aging effects of haste.
as to haste potions that was second edition… as an amusing anecdote my brother tried playing curse of the azure bonds using less characters and lots of haste spells and his characters all died of old age…
Paint Betty White gold and even Betty White can get it… https://youtu.be/FlaEiiGWgUc
Random thought. What if Maxima doesn’t so much ‘age’ as she ‘ossifies’ and slowly loses mobility and such as her body becomes more and more metal-y? So, like, one day in the far future there’s a golden statue that looks 100% like Maxima because it is Maxima and she’s just now 100% metal and no one knows the truth?
Has she turned to gold?
Has her warmth turned into cold?
We can’t read her face
It has stiffened into place.
Once she commanded,
Shooting orders and plasma fire,
Now she’s immobile,
A situation most dire.
Her flesh gleamed with might,
Now it traps her in the light.
Power turned to weight,
Metallic is her frozen fate.
ARCHON is helpless
As metal replace her will,
Using their science
To keep her living still.
[Dabbler plays guitar solo]
In this time of dread
Sydney Scoville tilts her head,
Planning as fast as she can,
The story Arc is Max again!