Grrl Power #1464 – Hammer quest
Obviously, Dabbler should run this up the chain of command. As a “civilian specialist,” there is surely a hierarchy she’s supposed to answer to, or there would be if Archon, and Arc-SWAT specifically was the size of a single company. As it stands now, I’m not sure they even qualify as a platoon. (For the non-military types (myself included) a squad is 7-14 troops, a platoon is 3-4 squads, and a company is 2-4 platoons. The exact numbers vary a lot depending on which military and which branch you ask.) But since Arc-SWAT is so small, really she only answers to Maxima, and that’s really only when Max feels like it’s worth taking her to task. Maxima is a wildly, unrealistically permissive commander, and the only way it works as well as it does is because I don’t like writing about the sort of baggage the typical “TV Drama” character has. You know, the police captain only got his position because he grew up best buds with the guy who became the lead gangster of their city, the sergeant is secretly hooked on laudanum, this detective is using a network of unapproved C.I.’s, that one is dating a defense attorney, this one is in a love pentangle… Stuff like that.
Basically nearly everyone at Archon is there because they’re mostly good people who like their jobs and do them. I know it’s not terribly realistic, but I’m writing a funny webcomic, not a super powered spin-off of The Wire. Actually, I guess that’d just be “The Boys,” wouldn’t it?
So, Dabbler in on board. There may be consequences. I guess Sydney finally found something to spend her rich person money on. Heh, I realize I wrote on that page Sydney saying “I’ve gotten used to my fancy new lifestyle,” but she hasn’t changed her lifestyle at all. She’s still driving the same Honda Element I think I’ve put in the comic all of one time. She’s still in that same apartment. The biggest change, besides her job, is the comic shop has moved to much nicer digs, from a strip mall to a repurposed church. (Which is modeled almost exactly after the one my parents dragged us to every Sunday until I went to college. I mean, why make up a different layout that I would undoubtedly accidentally change every time I drew it?) She probably hasn’t even upgraded her internet or anything like that because she’s only spends a few nights a week at her apartment any more.
Dabbler probably shouldn’t wear lavender. It’s odd, actually. Exotically skinned characters are slightly limited in what colors they can wear, because if your skin has a strong primary tone, there are some colors that conflict with it pretty dramatically. Whereas most human skintones… aren’t really a color. I mean, they are, of course, but they’re not bold, saturated colors that clash easily. Obviously, no one should wear something like a lose top that goes halfway down their butt, and then skintight leggings that are the exact color as their skin tone. But that applies to any skin tone, not just a white, brown or black person. Although, seeing a woman with especially dark skin wearing “Caucasian” leggings has definitely made me do a double take a few times. But that’s about something messing with expectations out of the corner of your eye, not about color clashes.
These are some of the things I think about when I’m picking colors for Dabbler and Cora and Altus’s clothes. I guess Sylv too, though he’s a less saturated green, and the clashes usually happen at the more saturated end of the spectrum.
Sexy bodymod news lady Gail has a special one-on-one interview with Tournament Quarter finalist Saraviah Nightwing! And if you subscribe to Gail’s Space Patreon, (which, due to the vagaries of Earth and Gal-Net’s DNS servers, happens to be the same as the Grrl Power Patreon, go figure) you can see that same interview in the nude! Well, eventually. The nude part of the interview, as well as the version that includes shading will be coming soon. Of course, you can view the interview in the nude now if you take your own clothes off. You know. Technically. Just put a towel on your chair first.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
is this… the 2nd time or the 3rd time Harem says “conversations don’t happen instant”
poor girl, must be one of her catchphrases
Not only not-instant…. She must translate Full-On Sydney-ese into something resembling a coherent request…
That takes some processing….
Now I’m wondering if Sydney is like on of my old friends from Highschool. Aside from them both being petite blonds, when my friend was excited about something she would talk faster and faster until she was going like the guy in the old Micromachines commercials. You would wonder how they packed so much lung capacity in such a small package.
that was when she was on “truth serum” which acted on her like octuple espresso on a normal person
It’s a debuff, not a debuf, too.
I think it would be great for Sydney to have a bad guy in her bubble option. Although the orbs can handle most of that. It would be great if the stun maul affect was scalable from mouse to Maxima
Dabbler already has what Syd wants: the memory-erasing hammer.
Wasn’t that just a “standard” memory erase spell with custom visuals and application method?
Yes, but Sydney doesn’t know that
*sigh*
THAT’S what she wants the hammerspace for? Some Looney Tunes weapon? Good grief, and here I thought she was finally being pre-emptive about how to hide her orbs in something other than a leather tube.
(I’m kinda surprised that neither Dabbler nor Maxima has even thought of that up to this point.)
Would you want to put the interdimensional/galactic space ship into a dimensional pocket space when it may be needed at a moments notice???
Although… I could see Sydney going up an ‘orb’ in cup sizes so that the shield orb + one other would be immediately on hand when wanted, while putting the others into a dimensional pocket IF said dimensional pocket would not interfere in their use or retrieval (a failure case or lock out causing ejection of orbs not loss of them).
And Sydney having some handy non-lethal ‘weaponry’ at hand may come in very very useful.
Or be a total waste.
WHAM
*guy staggers away drunkenly, a goofy look on his face, and a large bump on his forehead*
Sydney, holding the Cretinizer: Hmmmmm…
Dabbler: What NOW?
S: …There need to be tweety birds circling above his head.
D: Oh, fer- Aren’t YOU the one called ‘Halo’?
S: EXACTLY! And my signature move needs to leave behind a ‘halo’ of tweety birds! And stars! There should definitely be stars!
D: FINE, I can add an illusory effect. But this is REALLY gonna cost you…
Hit Deus with the DumbMaul!
The Cretinizer seems more adequate for name it’s after all an oversized meat tenderiser.
Tell, don’t show (grumble).
And something about kids on my lawn.
>Maxima is a wildly, unrealistically permissive commander, and the only way it works as well as it does is because I don’t like writing about the sort of baggage the typical “TV Drama” character has. You know, the police captain only got his position because he grew up best buds with the guy who became the lead gangster of their city, the sergeant is secretly hooked on laudanum, this detective is using a network of unapproved C.I.’s, that one is dating a defense attorney, this one is in a love pentangle… Stuff like that.
The better explanation for this is that the supers are incredibly valuable and high in demand so the military is willing to extend an enormous amount of latitude so long as they are effective and can be reliably deployed against threats and most of Maxima’s subordinates would be excessively dysfunctional and would likely wash out under proper military discipline strictures, something the military would much rather avoid. Maxima puts them through basic exercises and maintains a functioning and sufficiently effective hierarchy that the status quo is acceptable enough to be preferable to the likelihood of losing supers otherwise. But maybe we can throw in some military and/or government people that think Arc-SWAT is going about it completely wrong (being so disgustingly undisciplined) and you should find supers from an early age and then abduct and drill and train them into a fanatically loyal, disciplined fighting force as a more reliable (in their minds) super force. It’d make for an interesting conflict.
I mean, its probably both. The reason Maxima is able to be so permissive is because of how valuable supers are.
The even better answer is that ARC-SWAT are, to a man, Special Operatives.
While they *must* have a level of discipline that allows them to work as a team, and follow commands, they are *not* common soldiers who need to be drilled as a team to perform a single set of tasks to ensure maximum chance of success and survival.
They’re Special Forces, with special needs to make them effective. So they get that.
Full formal military bruhaha would only *limit* their effectiveness, so they’re not even trying to enforce it.
The problem with that is that it won’t get you Master Chief, it will get you Max from Dark Angel.
Or Homelander.
See, I’d assumed Sydney would want a hammer-space as a – and I say this in full knowledge that I’m typing these words – mystic ball-holding solution.
Of course Sydney wants a literal hammer for her hammer-space (why not? that’s why it’s called ‘Hammer Space’ in the first place :P )
So, Sydney wants to roll-play Harley for reals?
Wait wait wait I thought she wanted the hammerspace to hide her ioun stones? Yes hammerspace can be for beating up BAKA characters, but Sidney has a situation with floaty orbs which could be hard to hide.
She has Mr Tubey to hide her balls, potentially Bad Things could happen if she even tried to stuff her balls into a pocket dimension…
Sydney would like the Arkenhammer from Erfworld. Or something that looks like it, at least.
https://archives.erfworld.com/Book+1/4
I just finished watching Maul Shadow Lord and now Sidney wants to become Maul Hammer Lord.
Doesn’t Dabbler have an amnesia mallet?
I think Dave forgot
I think that was a straight-up spell, rather than an enchanted object. She can use the latter if it has a charged battery, but not the former?
So, does this mean Sydney wants to be a maul rat?
I guess this means that Halo will now be going into battle with mallets aforethought…
The maul must also contain a holo projector on the back to create the required comic like **BONK!!** in a brightly colored star shaped word bubble whenever it makes contact.
Dabbler and Syd showing just why they’re perfect besties for each other. One has all the ideas that provide stimulation for the other to make real.
Also reminder there’s blow up hammers. Hitting people with a balloon is also funny.
Sydney needs a weapon which is a glove. When she blows into the thumb several times like blowing a trumpet, the glove expands to make it look like her hand is getting bigger and bigger.
Then she punches someone with a giant fist, which sends them flying away.
I wonder if anyone could tell her she could stick some basic supplies in there too.
a non letlal and easily carryable melee weapon us not a bad idea TBH
I’m amused by the implication that Dabbler’s hammerspace glyphs very specifically only work on scabbards. Like, the issue isn’t the size or shape of the weapon being stored, Dabbler’s problem is that the weapon in question doesn’t have a scabbard.
I can only imagine that Dabbler selects her outfit each morning with whatever will make her look the most naked/provocative without essentially *requiring* Maxima to actually hold a disciplinary hearing over it in mind.
If she doesnt draw at least an informal reprimand however, she’ll be disappointed. Its a fine line to walk, but shes clearly willing to put in the time.
Ok. here me out. The comady hammers but.. they have one of the orbs inside. Flying homing remote control hammers.
I sounds like a Maul enchanted with the Merciful magical property while also being a custom magic item with the spells Confusion and Feeblemind (use-activated). Also some sort of weight and inertia reducing modification (magical or otherwise) to let noodle-armed Sydney wield it. Sounds like lots of fun in a campaign. Anybody want calculate the cost and convert gp into dollars?
Forgot the minor image in there.
Not seeing that as a “chain of command” issue, I’ve been a military contractor longer than I like to think about, and personal purchases, whether weapons or whatever have never been on the run it up the chain list.
Now, using it ON A MISSION would require approval. Or at least knowing when “stun” vs “blast to atoms” was appropriate. And using it outside a mission would be assault. Suppose that last would depend on your friend group and their sense of humor. Seem to recall Harem got in trouble for that sort of stunt that took quite a bit of payout.
And doesn’t Dabbler already have a “forget the details” mallet? Not much difference between that and stun.
Sydney herself got in trouble for clonking Achilles with the lighthook for talking about potato chip “mouth feel”.
You know, Dabbler did the magic sleep spell hammer before, so she already has a functional example of this effect to enchant into the comedy hammer.
I’m envisioning a hammer with different settings for the different effects Sydney wants, and adding the sleep spell application that will put a criminal out cold for a couple hours, with no accompanying head trauma… Would actually be extremely useful in their line of work, and therefore that would make the brass a lot more likely to approve it!
My bad. It was a “Hammer of Amnesia” spell. Maybe add that as another setting.
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-310-dabblers-happiest-meal/
Let’s hope neither Sidney nor Dabbler ever hears about Splatsy from https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1210438/henry-rider-clown-hunter/
HAMMER!
So what will Dabbler charge for this commission? I doubt that she really needs any of Sydney’s money. I don’t see her causing Sydney any harm but I foresee some sort of quest or other potentially humorous task.
IIRC, when she fixed a software bug in Sydney’s space glasses about French translation, she did ask a sexy selfie as compensation (leading to Syd hilariously wrecking the airplane’s toilet in the attempt to snap it). On the contrary, she didn’t ask anything for supplying Syd with the ‘Hentai Vagoo’ potion. Probably because she already gets her fix whenever Syd and Frix get hot and heavy within succubus-feeding range.
The potion would be a favor for Frix as much as for Sydney
Sydney, in the last panel: Ohmygodomigodomigod BLARGH HELP IT’S A FURNITURE AMBUSH SEND REINFORCEMENTS
Mam how I’ve missed looking at Dabbler
Syd, my girl, you are failing to see an opportunity here. Let’s say Dabs fixes up a pocket dimension that only holds a gallon of water, normally. Now use a high pressure pump to fill it with much more than that, maybe a 100 gallons. You can put the glyph anywhere you like, say on a lapel pin…
If Harem were smart, she’d teleport away as if running between the two sides of the conversation, just to keep people from propmting her while she’s still talking on the other side.
https://www.eventproprentals.com/image/cache/catalog/props/circus/circus-carnival-props-strongman-hammer-900×900.jpg
https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fg00ry17dsxla1.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=c7025d860b8f01a74b8d13acea53c3374c0bdf700e58c5b0170ae24474f92959
A reference Maul.