Grrl Power #832 – Free shipping with Glamazon Prime
Aw yeah get ready for the fashion show!
When Anvil was defending her habit of purchasing stuff for Max to wear, I almost added “Also it’s easier to find cool clothing in your size.” but I decided to cut it for space.
Basically, Anvil will be browsing outfits online, sees something she likes, but almost never finds it in her size. Rarely though, it will be in Max’s size, so she’ll sometimes throw it in her cart. Anvil is 6’7″, which means short of a few specialty stores, she probably has to have most of her clothing altered if not tailored from scratch. Max is 6’1″, which is not as many standard deviations from average as Anvil, but I imagine it still limits her ability to buy off the rack. I would think that any woman over 5′ 9″ has some issues finding stuff that fits. Not to mention both Anvil and Max are slender of waist yet bountiful of tract. That’s got to be a contributing factor in their quest to find non-bespoke outfits.
As seen in panel 5, Max is flying while she takes off her boots, but being able to fly would make a whole host of mundane tasks easier. Forget reaching stuff on the high shelf, you could fly upside down and turn any shower into a bidet. I… guess you could just do a handstand in the shower if you don’t have one of those showerheads on a hose, but that seems irresponsible. If you could fly while sleeping, any place could be a comfortable bed, presumably. That wouldn’t work if you had to constantly flap something, or it could be super dangerous if you flew like Heatwave, sheathed in an aura or hot death.
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So now I’m wondering who else Anvil has been “shopping” for.
Poor Anvil; she dreamed of becoming a personal shopper, but then the super hero stuff happened. It’s tough being pigeon-holed.
Even worse if you are pigeon-toed
The problem with using your shower as a bidet is where the filth flows after you’ve knocked it loose. Yuck!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!
Lie flat in the air, then.
That was the first thing to come to my mind also, after reading the notes.
Definitely the wrong time to be singing in the shower… or have your mouth open at all, really…
Eh, you’re just going to be washing yourself off afterwards, just keep your mouth and eyes closed.
Really kind of overkill flying upside down to use a showerhead as a bidet, so long as you can reach your own crevasse. XD
The bidet thing doesn’t work, just better off getting a hose attachment for the shower.
Also, all of Anvil’s stuff has to be bespoke, for sure.
A bidet is like the Three Seashells.
Naw, they are supers. Power washer. It’s the only way to be sure!
Goldberg?
“I like her because she’s a superhero and she sleeps above her covers… FOUR FEET above her covers.”
Mhmm, Anvil. I love me some Kenya cake.
Kenya would not be the floater. At her size and probable density, I expect her to be well over 300 pounds. She would need to lie curled up a bit on a king-size bed, on a diagonal.
She has the money to afford an Alaskan kingsize matress, for sure. Its getting the bespoke sheets and doona that is inconvenient.
At her height and build and rip! Anvil should weigh in at 375 plus… Maybe 400. Real tough on on shoes!
California king mattresses are 4″ longer than standard, a full 7′. It’s fantastic for those of us who don’t quite fit on a king. But yeah, even so Kenya would only fit on a diagonal.
This is how you can tell that Kenya’s a superhero.
She puts her bra on *the literal hardest way*.
Oh and also she buys clothes for her friend.
But mostly the bra thing.
My wife used to put hers on that way. No problems at all. OTOH, not as well endowed as supers seem to be.
Women differ.
My first wife did the exact same as Anvil every time. Never saw her do it any other way.
My second does front, then swing around, if you see what I mean.
A past girlfriend did it arms up, and pull down, like a tee shirt.
And so on.
Yes, I do watch.
why wouldn’t you, unless she minded it?
I mean, I get a small twinge of sadness when my girlfriend puts on her bra, because it typically means she’s leaving!!!!!! waaaaahhhhh!!!!!! but it’s a last little glimpse!
There are those who find watching people put on clothes is sexier than people taking them off…
Some people don’t like being watched as they dress. Max may be one of them.
They happily dance round naked, or indeed do other interesting things while unclothed. But they have an awkwardness about dressing. I don’t really understand it.
Maybe they’ve just realised that they wore that old pair of knickers by mistake.
I should add this – in real life, a half-dressed woman is often more sexy and seductive than a naked one.
Push-up bras for supers are about as safe as dividing the Universe by zero. Violate all kinds of laws.
Push up bras for these two would probably have to be made out of adamantium or something.
Kelvar or some super macromolecule weave.
I used to imagine Rogue’s old Green and Yellow suit came out of the wash all streached out
and once put on an ultrasonic wand would snug it up.
Like shrinkwrap.
Wacky mayhem in the women’s dressing room when she leaves it set to 11 for the next person.
Kevlar.
Not necessarily. Maxima’s breasts are soft* enough to be influenced by simple gravity, so a regular push up bra should be enough to push them up.
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-350-its-localized-its-just-not-personalized/
* Used with full knowledge that such a word may result in my death.
Also perfect example of what Max would look like in a push up bra.
Or maybe… http://wapsisquare.com/comic/what-the-frig-newtonians/
Mhmm, Anvil. I love me some Kenya cake.
Don’t they earn enough money that they could order a tailored outfit from any manufacturer they desire?
May I suggest either Jennette Goldstein or Parian.
They do have a super-powered tailor/designer on retainer, don’t they? I am sure Anvil (and Stalwart for that matter) could ask for a few things other than just Dress Uniform, Fatigues, and PT gear. Yes, Anvil’s and Stalwart’s PT gear would need to be custom built, especially Anvil’s sports bra.
Yes, but that’s a tad different than window-shopping. Most tailor sessions, especially the first few, involve a lot of measuring, a lot of idea bouncing, “tell me what you want” sort of stuff. Half the time you’re treated like a side of beef, and the rest of it you have to be actively thinking about what you want. There are no surprises in the process (though, possibly in the results, but those come after – possibly several weeks after). Once a tailor/designer “gets” what you’re after, and how clothes work with your body, the process speeds up a lot, but you still lose the surprise element.
Shopping involves a lot more of the hunter/gatherer skill set, paired with the potential to find things you didn’t know you wanted/needed, or combinations you hadn’t thought of until you’d seen things in situ. It’s a more active, more self-directed, but not so mentally intensive, activity, and you get the thrill of exploration and maybe finding epic loot.
Both get you clothing, but one is, potentially, a LOT more fun, assuming you are into that sort of fun.
The only time I’ve seen getting tailored clothes be “fun” is when you get the right personalities together, and then it turns into this really ritzy version of the hair saloon where people gossip – but that requires a relationship with enough shared frame of reference.
If they have a personal tailor with their measurements (which don’t change due to super-narativium AFAIK), anytime they see something online they like they could simply forward it on and ask for a quote?
“Saw this, like the patterns, maybe in red?” “Certainly, but the material is hard to get – $X, 2 weeks” kind of reply.
TEN DOLLARS?! What is this, a sock?
<__>
….
because roman numerals? no?
that… did not render correctly…. sigh…
So do your hunter-gathering in a used bookstore instead. I promise our books can be read by you no matter what your body shape is.
I get the feeling Kenya was part of the ‘scouting’ movement when she was younger, as she is certainly prepared for all contingencies.
Not certain why bras would even be necessary for these women except for the purpose of modesty. With their powers, nothing is ever going to sag.
I suspect it is also an issue of comfort? And in their job they will probably also want to cut down on any ‘independent moving’ that would otherwise happen.
Given we’re no longer in the 4th-wall universe, there may well be certain laws of… biology? Do we have a standard of body performance to go by?
Even supers age.
Gracefully, I’m certain, but they age.
…and breasts tissue ages faster than most of the rest of the body.
Does Maxima age like normal? Her skin is some type of metal, after all. And she doesn’t really look much different from the scene where we saw her as a teen in the ‘paper bag’ incident that almost killed her brother.
Big superboobs flopping around would be too distracting for teammates like Math. But on the other hand the same would go for some opponents.
Plus, even if it doesn’t hurt, getting slapped in the face/arm by your own flesh probably isn’t fun. Cutting down on annoyance is a perfectly good reason.
Which Sydney used to their advantage. :) But having large flexible organs moving around via inertia with little muscular control would be inconvenient, although for those two, not likely painful, as it is for some ladies I know with larger breast size.
IIRC when Anvil did her best loony tunes moment during the restaurant super fight (with Sydney’s help ofc) she did have the thought bubble that the landing hurt her breasts, so I’d say that a good supporting bra is high on her list of “must have” items and for a woman her size (in all aspects) and must be hideously expensive to buy.
For Max though jury’s still out, so far.
I’m just wondering why Anvil’s powers don’t work in absorbing the inertial energy from her breasts? only her feet/legs/torso, etc(?)
I’m guessing she only absorbs energy from external sources, being hit is pretty self explanatory, running or falling she absorbs it from the contact with the ground, I guess even doing things like punching will allow absorption from the point of contact.
Just because she absorbs the energy, doesn’t mean she doesn’t still feel the impact
You need a cleverly designed set of levers to absorb impact/shock. Breasts have nothing in them that could be used as a lever. Mechanically they’re just a pair of bags slung from a useful position.
Our levers have both bones and muscles. The hinged joint gives flexibility, the muscles act as shock dampers.
Breasts simply want to go where gravity and/or momentum dictate.
My thought at the time of reading that page was that she probably can’t absorb kinetic energy at the same time as expending that stored energy. Or that it would be impractical to do so — If she had absorbed the energy of that landing, it wouldn’t have been effective as an attack.
Because, they can be sexy!
Contrary to popular (and widely advertised by the industry) belief, bras don’t do all that much against sagging. That is a result of aging.
You wear them against poking and jiggling and bouncing (which can be rather painful). And sometimes for third date reasons.
A ten year French university study proved bras actually INCREASE sagging in women under 35! Apparantly they preventthe underlying musculature from exercising.
Much more likely the subjects don’t do anything that looks like a physical workout. Even something as simple as 3 or 4 chinups/pullups twice a day will improve the underlying musculature.
But it also helps to remember that many indigenous women, who don’t normally wear bras in a tribal setting, achieve very significant sag by their mid-20s. Unfortunately, gravity is really a thing, and when you consider most non-super women will be carrying at least a kilo of non-muscular tissue on each side… It is entirely possible Kenya is carrying 5 or 6 kilos up front, Maxi probably 4 or 5, with most of the other girls not very far behind. In most of their physical fitness/training uncontrolled breasts will be miserably painful — and that’s on a good day.
They could always buy their bras from Lydia’s http://wapsisquare.com/comic/elite-bra-guard/
Totally want to see a cross-over between Lydia and Iron Cloth, and their respective teams of clothing ninja :D
Damn… Now I can’t stop thinking about Maxima wearing Crotchless Panties
You waited 832 pages to think about that?!?
Hey Dave – “Rule 34.”
I do like the idea that Anvil buys nice clothes for her friend for the rare chance that she can talk her into going out.
Because if you have the money, then spending that money on your friends is fine.
Max is also probably someone who doesn’t shop that often, and definitely doesn’t buy anything too ‘out there’. Probably preferring practicable over pretty.
Max is lucky she has Anvil as a wingwoman.
Next time,the fashion show (or “How would that look on Maxima?”)
Channeling some Rocky & Bullwinkle here….!
Max could have used some of Anvil’s shopping after this little incident: https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-521-to-no-dress/
I like looking at gals in uniform almost as much as looking at them out of uniform…
Dang, I am not disappointed seeing this.
This makes me wonder if you have to have super strength to sleep with Max.
I know her powers are based on pushing energy into the stat grid to raise specific traits. But how ‘soft’ is her neutral mode? Because Sydney still clanged her fist when she was in ‘off’ mode after the bank robbery.
I’m not sure Max has an “off” mode – she may need to allocate maximum energy at all time, it’s just a question of where. Which would make things WAY more awkward. I assume anything over level 1 Strength risks the health of her partner if they don’t have some form of super-resilience, Speed over 1…there are so many Sonic jokes in poor taste I could say, Defense 2+ reduces sensitivity to some extent, I’d imagine, which you definitely aren’t after here, Flight…may be an answer, though going mach 1 in bed seems unwise, and then energy blaster…see previous comics on accidental discharge…
Max in panel 2 suddenly got a severe case of the square-chins. Her face kinda reminds me of PSX-era Lara Croft.
At this point in the timeline of the comic, it’s probably very difficult to find mass produced women’s clothing made to fit supers, but as more and more supers come out and become more visible (and start making the kind of money they can make with their powers), I imagine some larger clothing producers and start ups will come out with clothing sized for them on a greater scale. In the meantime, especially with the amount they make, any bespoke seamstress can fit them, and there’s going to be at least one in every major city that specializes in fitting larger women.
I’m sure there are female super-villains. Someone needs to start the company ‘Victoria’s Secret Lair’.
A comment like this has me thinking about the Evil Inc. webcomic.
In a superhero RPG we had a player who insisted her character would float every time she slept. Then one day, a ninja (brand new player we were introducing) got a stealth KO on her while she was listening to a battle plan from the stairs.
GM: “Does she float when other types of unconscious?”
Everyone suddenly saw her float across the room and bonk her head on the whiteboard, clearly unconscious. So much for the ninja getting in unnoticed.
Since no one else seems to be saying it, I will.
I love that picture of Dwayne “the rock” Johnson on the wall there.
I can’t tell who the rest are but I couldn’t miss what the rock is cooking.
Yeah, Anvil would have the same shopping problems as one of my superhero RPG characters. When you’re 7ft tall and weight about 1200lb (due to basically being a human brain in a Terminator-style body), you have issues around finding clothes that fit, furniture that can take your weight, etc… it gets kind of expensive when almost everything has to be custom-made for your requirements.
As someone who reads a lot of super type books and sometimes participates in world-building for same, one of the “rules” is no skirts for female capes without some kind of bike short or boyshort style underwear, and definitely not crotchless unless you’re a supervillainess. Talk about your scandalous upskirt shots…
And I’m not sure but I think one of those pictures is John Legend
Best wingman ever.
My takeaway from today’s page is tough-gal Colonel Maxima who works out and showers with her entire female team and can handle Dabbler being obnoxious …
… is so modest with her best friend and nobody else at all in the room that she ducks behind a screen to change.
Maybe she’s just trying to save Kenya’s eyes from glare blindness ..?
She isn’t nervous about taking it off around others. She is nervous about putting it on, having to figure out the little fasteners and such that she has avoided since she went solid gold. I mean, when a sneeze reaction can blow up the building you are in, dresses are far easier to accidentally than other clothes.
I thought Archon had a clothing ninja designer on tap. It would make sense for Anvil to buy templates and have the ninjas make her versions to fit –with ‘tactical’ inserts of armor and increased strength seams because she is not going to end up in a sudden fight and go ‘bursting out’ into nudity if she can make Archon foot the bill for a battle bra.
Yeah the dude with the fashion ninjas, when he tells Sydney that her uniform will be ready for her in an hour she does ask him where he was yesterday (ie. before the press conference), and he responds that he is “in enormously high demand.” So it’s possible that Anvil has already put in a few orders for stuff from him but all things considered those orders may still be stuck in the queue.
I suspect Arcon is not his only client.
↑This!↑
Dave, I spent two weeks installing kitchen sprayers next to toilets. It isn’t that hard.
The part I’m having the most difficulty with is Anvil being so keen to make Maxima look nice for a meeting with a creep like Deus. I know as the audience we’re privy to more information than other characters, but surely he must give off an “obviously shady” vibe.
On the other hand, this is a superhero universe, where people like Lex Luthor can be seen as noble pillars of the community despite all evidence to the contrary.
Oh thank god, I’m not the only one who feels like this.
I was going through the comments before posting exactly this thought.
I am legitimately curious what Anvil’s angle is this time around. With Hiro, she (and pretty much everyone close to the two) know there’s really something there. It would even make sense if it were just some other potential random joe, or even one of Cora’s crew. etc.
But Anvil KNOWS what Deus is like. Very very confused why she’s pushing her usual matchmaker self when that maniac is involved.
I agree. Deus is definately not someone a good friend would want for her friend.
The rule of comedy of course applies first of all.
There are not many supers that Maxima could be interested in, and they work for her. So no dating there.
Most men are likely far too intimidated by Maxima to want to get close to her (she is taller, can lift him and his car, with one hand, is smarter than him by far, and she can casually lob a ball of antimatter to create a nuke size explosion (or so it would come across from that meet and greet).
The men who are not intimidated by her are most likely the ones who raise her finely tuned MCP alarm.
In what story (or reality) have matchmakers ever shown an ounce of common sense when making matches?
My personal guess was that Kenya wanted to see her friend dress up just because she could and maaaaaybe even date somebody and not seal herself away from everybody. Deus was just a convenient subject for her quest because he is not intimidated by Maxima, and can hold his own against her in the snark department. Not so much matchmaking as teasing Maxima out of that GI jane shell of hers.
Of course that ‘third date bag’ changed things a little.
I wonder if other standard superhero rules apply? If Max wants to keep this meeting a secret, then all she needs to do is add a pair of glasses to her outfit and no one in the restaurant will recognize her.
One or both of them may have thought they were dating each other at some point. They have a complicated relationship (Arianna referred to him as Max’s “Boyfrienemy“), but it is a relationship of some sort.
If Deus is trying to give it ‘date’ vibes to throw Maxima off mental balance, one way to counter that would be to ‘step into the punch’ as it were – to deliberately bring those vibes herself, so that they’re not unexpected.
So, am I the only one who is super grossed out by the thought of Maxima dating Deus, and therefore having trouble enjoying this otherwise cute scene? No? Just me?
Everyone except a certain lawyer fan-girl :P
with what she is paid anvil would not have problem getting stuff custom made for her. I am sure there are fashion designer willing to do stuff for her for free, for the publicity, or just for the challenge, and we have seen there is at least one superpower based fashion designer, and is not hard to imagine specialized lines of clothes for super-powered individuals, with things like super strong thread, friction resistant to not burn up when you have to break the sound barrier, and things like that, but being still fashionable (and machine-washable, darling. that is a new feature)
They need to hire Edna Mode (The Incredibles) as their clothing and uniforms designer.
With the look on her face in the first two panels, I get the feeling most of Max’s arguments are more out of habit than a real reluctance. With her powers and strength, I imagine she set a great number of self-constraint rules in place for herself to keep from harming anyone she might get intimate with. After sneezing a hole in the wall when she was first starting I can see this as being very likely.
You are correct Dave. I’m 5’11” and it’s super hard to find things that are flattering for my frame. Maybe easier if I was shaped like Maxima, but the women’t clothing industry assumes we’re all tiny doll-people.
Thanks for sharing the struggle. :p
Hugs!
38 D bras can also be a pain in the but to find.
Other difficulties for finding womens clothing off the rack include shoulder breadth and bicep circumference. Designers often don’t have a realistic idea of womens proportions to begin with. Anything “nonstandard” will increase the difficulty. I add my vote to the “They should just hire a personal designer given their budget” team.
I can’t see Anvil buying off the rack at all, people like her would have top designers fighting each other to do her custom tailor work just for the celebrity product placement. Max might well be the only one who would turn such a thing down.
“I would think that any woman over 5′ 9″ has some issues finding stuff that fits.”
You get the same problem in the opposite direction, too: My wife is 5′ even and 80 lbs soaking wet, and has to buy her clothes out of the juniors aisle. It’s a continuing frustration that, whenever she sees something she likes, it isn’t available in her size. She’s tired of dressing like a teen.
My sister, was about 4′ 10″, she had the same problem I need to cut 3 inches, off the bottom to fit my short legs. As I am 5′ 3 1/2 inches tall. I only mmade it into the ARMY, by 1/4″. not forgetting arm length,all of my tops have short sleeves. Long sleeves hang down, over my hnds, hanging below, to my fingers at the knuckles.
I have a couple female relatives with this issue.
They no longer buy clothing “off the rack” … they go “window shopping” for design ideas, then sew it themselves.
One of them was asked to also do the sewing for friends with similar issues, that she turned it into a business.
I had a girlfriend years ago that was 6′ 2″ (I’m 6′ 4″); most of her height was in her legs. She couldn’t get pants, even in men’s sizes, with a long enough inseam for her and would have to buy two pairs of pants and splice part of the legs from one to the other to make them long enough.
I was doing that myself, until I found some I could order unhemmed. There isn’t much to choose from for people with longer inseams than waists.
Would you really want a bidet where the runoff goes down over your face?
Wouldn’t take many tries to work out the angle
Ideal position would be simply float up until the spray is directly on where you need it