Grrl Power #1246 – Lack of gold is the new orange
I apologize for the horribly unrealistic part of this page, in which we see a teenage succubus texting in complete sentences with no emojis in sight.
I don’t know why I took time out to dunk on Oak Island, but I wanted Dabbler setting Lapha up in front of a TV, and my wife has recently gotten hooked on treasure hunting TV shows, so why not? If Lapha’s spot on the shelf there is her prison (or even if it’s just temporary until the super jail has a spot ready for her) and prison is indeed supposed to be punitive, then Dabbler would take away that remote and force Lapah to watch the show.
I imagine there’s a layer of hell where you spend eternity being an editor for shows like that. There’s probably ten million hours of footage, and your job as an editor is to make hay out of literally nothing happening. There was one bit where some of the crew was scuba diving off of the shore looking for, I don’t know, evidence of the island being used as a trading stopover or something, and one of the divers signaled that they’re done looking for the day and to head to the surface (keeping in mind they’re in like 35 feet of water) and… they do that. They just swim to the surface, and nothing goes wrong. But the editor has to turn that into a 5 minute segment where the guys on the boat are checking their watches and going “They’re late coming up.” and the narrator has to V.O. “The boat team radios to the divers, but something is wrong. There’s no reply.” without sounding like he’s rolling his eyes super hard, and the music score has been doing “Thriller Movie” dun dun dun duns for like 30 minutes straight, and then the finally (like 9 seconds after the diver guy was like, “Let’s swim up.”) they get to the surface, and then if I was the editor, I would pick up the editing console and smash it into my temple until the top half of my head looked like an open faced manwich.
That scene I described was somewhere in season seven I think, so you can tell how desperate they were at that point to make “Not finding anything” seem interesting.
Also, yes, Sydney’s glasses auto adjust to her updated prescription.
The new vote incentive is up! This is a bit of a weird one as it’s a character that hasn’t appeared in the comic.
It’s my Ifrit Pathfinder 1e monk, Fray! Ifrits don’t really make great monks in Pathfinder, as player characters they get a +2 to Dex and Cha, but -2 to Wis. For monks, Dex is good, Cha is largely irrelevant, but Wis is important as it can add to your AC and also has something to do with Ki points I think. But I didn’t care. I wanted a character with dark blue/gray skin and glowing orange hair, so that’s what I picked. (I don’t think Ifrit even really have dark skin, so maybe she’s 1/4 Drow? Don’t care. I think she looks cool.) Will she show up in the comic? I mean… maybe? Probably in a Dabbler flashback, but who knows?
As usual, Patreon has her in delicto flagrante.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
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The mystery of Oak Island is the mysteries they made on the way. That’s both the truth and a joke.
I was raised in a really old house in the hills of Western Kentucky. The old place had been a bit of a gathering spot in the 40’s and 50’s, with people sleeping in the yard and so forth.
I went over the yard with a metal detector and found a silver ring, silver and copper coins, and a few other bits of jewelry over a week or so of going over it with different settings. Plus a lot of metal junk like a nozzle for a gas pump.
In that week, I found several times the amount of actual treasure that’s been found on that show in 7 years.
Didn’t hey already tell Sydney what the choker does? Like act as a Flight Transponder for fliers and stuff
yes, but reminding Sydney of something when it matters is rarely a bad idea
I thought that was what her armband does, not her choker.
armband does maps and google earth, possibly before everyone had access to google earth and GPS. i’m not positive if the present is the present, but anyway, unlike most GPS, it also tracks altitude and warns if she’s heading into no-no airspace off duty. it might sync with the choker to display its reading or it might be a redundand array that just communicates with the choker to display it’s information. probably both; Max is a belt and suspender kinda gal when it comes to the safety of her people and their gear
Every time I read panel seven my brain interprets it as “there are over a hundred (pause inserted here for clarity) eighty-hour long episodes” as opposed to “there are over a hundred-eighty (pause inserted here for clarity) hour long episodes.” And My first reaction was “WTF?! Each episode is eighty hours?!”
Could be worse. You could be trying to identify all the logical fallacies in the show.
Now I want to see Jail-bot pick up Lapha, and hear the song.
Hmmm, Aetholith rarely possess people. No data on human possession, let alone ADHD, let alone stressed to release, let alone a human mind mentally bonded to Nth tech. So wandering about side effects like Sidney having an infectious personality that might be starting to infect Lapha
Expose Lapha to 80’s TV. some A-team, Knight rider, original He-man, GI Joe, will either fix it or mask it with something so much worse.
How about those 80’s cartoons-Transformers,Superfriends,He-Man,Dungeons & Dragons,Jem,etc.?!?
I heard somewhere that Michael Bay was doing a Superfriends Movie…
Just placing this here, he isn’t a terrible director, just the 80s IPs he got the rights for don’t fit his style and aesthetic so didn’t translate well.
However I could see a few cartoons that would work for him, Street Sharks, Biker Mice from Mars, and Extreme Dinosaurs; would all fit his style and aesthetic.
So, Oak Island started in 2014, so is it now current-timeish and we’re retconning when the comic started or is this just an anachronism because Dave needed a fill-in for stupid reality TV?
I’m assuming the latter.
I think that it’s always NOW.
I’m sure there’s a term for that.
The terms “sliding timescale” and “floating timeline” are both popular.
wibbly wobblily timey whimey.
When the comic started, Obama was still president, and I don’t think it’s even been a year in their time. Sure, tech can catch up and surpass us since aliens and stuff, but culturally and historically, they’re still in 2017 the latest.
Wild how a comic that started almost 14 years ago is set 7 years in the past relative to us. And unless we get another time skip, that gap is going to keep growing.
I don’t know if there’s a specific term, but I refer to this writing tactic as parallel dimension with an unmoored timeline to our own. Like The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe has one in it’s own universe.
I kind of like when this shows up in regards to our actual world since it allows discourse on what’s going on in current events by the author and their characters, as long as it doesn’t get too preachy or sideline the actual story. I think a series that handles this really well is Wandering Inn.
Though people rarely respond with enthusiasm when I mention the series, probably because most people don’t like to read that much, and it’s long. Very accessible though, so people took the recommendation much better during covid when everyone was bored at home and didn’t even want to go to the library for their reading.
Per the Wikipedia page on Curse of Oak Island: “Persons featured have included [. . .] Daniel Ronnstam discussing his theory about the 90-foot stone being a dual cypher containing instructions on how to defeat the money pit flood tunnels with corn [. . .]”
Is this a TV show or a walkthrough for a poorly designed adventure game? I have trouble imagining a version of the real world where that theory is semantically meaningful.
I find it easy to imagine that the writers got bored and were just trying to see exactly how stupid they could make the show and still have an audience.
There are two really quick methods for digging that pit out and finding out what, if anything, is down there.
1. Use a pressurized caisson. That’s essentially a diving bell with enough pressure to hold back the water, and you dig and let it sink evenly. Dangerous, because if you lose pressure you’ll get the bends, but its a very old and time tested method of managing such things. The Brooklyn Bridge pilings were set with caissons, IIRC.
2. Drill some holes around the pit to the required depth, and inject liquid nitrogen or liquid carbon dioxide. Freeze the entire thing and just dig out the center.
Watching that show is an exercise in frustration.
“Sunk costs fallacy”
It lies at the core of many cults, various and sundry successful con jobs, and situations like Oak Island, People sink so much time, effort and/or money into something that considering if it was all a waste becomes unthinkable.
That’s definitely how we’ve gotten to this point. Early on it should have been obvious that nobody dug an over 100′ deep hole with the technology of the time, tossed a bunch of treasure into it and covered it back up (honestly the claims of some gold chains being found seems like a lie, a plant or just a bizarre coincidence of hitting a lost chain that got buried there in the storms decades prior). Pirates don’t go burying treasure so they can’t ever get to it again (which obviously if our tech can’t find it they couldn’t have either), they want to actually SPEND it and no pirate could have ever spent any treasure in the pit they claim is on the island.
Some of the theories revolve around the Templars burying their treasure, and religious artifacts from the Holy Lands, with no intention of ever retrieving those treasures. They just wanted to keep the artifact safe and out of the hands of the people who were persecuting them (mostly the French government and the Catholic Church).
Those theories make much more sense to me than theories about governments or pirates hiding treasures. Because pirates want to get their treasure back in a couple of years when they’re no longer being chased.
While I suppose it’s possible there was an entrance which collapsed, religious fanatics probably does make more sense. OTOH, it’s just about as sensible to believe it’s all plants and salting the area to attract tourists/investments/suckers.
I think it’s a cult thing now. You could dig out the entire island and some people would claim you hid the real truth.
just remember to check the trash cans! that’s how the goods get moved.
Why would a religious fanatic bury their holy relics into the literal ground (as opposed to reliquaries, vaults or even tombs they controlled if you want to be creative), to be never found again? It makes as much sense as Doctor Who fanatics to recover lost episodes and then never digitize them so critics can’t make fun of them.
And that’s totally one of the rods from Tears of the Kingdom in panel 7.
Cartoons are arguably far more highbrow intellectual entertainment than reality TV garbage variant #2025.
Lapha’s favorite anime is Yu Gi Oh. For some reason.
Followed up by “The Roommate From Hell”
I thought her favorite was Yugioh: The Abridged Series.
Being possessed must be a growth point for Sydney?
We know the truth about Oak Island. That some English/Native American man visited it around the time of the revolution and found the treasure which was a ring with strange alien powers.
Yo DaveB https://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/monk/archetypes/paizo-monk-archetypes/scaled-fist-monk-archetype/ Unchained monk archetype for Pathfinder, assuming you arn’t talking about 2e (don’t know much about 2e havn’t had the chance to play it), uses charisma instead of Wis for pretty much everything except will saves and wisdom skills. Pretty good archetype, nice flavor although admittedly suffers from “Put that Dragon in everything, just like a bard!” syndrome. Amusingly in combination with halflings makes a surprisingly good tank-monk… dodge tank, mind, but still.
Can you picture Lapha binge watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross and questions Dabbler about “happy little trees”?!?
If we’re casting votes, I suggest Pinwheel, and its spiritual successor, Eureka’s Castle.
And, actually, also Today’s Special, and the entire catalogue of Grimm’s Fairytale Classics. And Fraggle Rock. And also the Smurfs, Snorks, and all the Alf cartoons.
is the goal to turn her into fire colored jello? to burn away her will?
Guilt, subtly.
All of those shows are designed with the social instruction of children built into them, in a way that an adult would feel silly trying to either object to, or argue about. Unless she is literally a sociopath – which is possible, but unlikely – Lapha will not be able to avoid emotionally resonating with those messages. Subconsciously, she’s going to start feeling empathy towards her victims, even as she considers her own unhappy experiences.
Guilt will start to settle in, and with that, the subconscious desire to regain social approval, i.e., forgiveness.
By providing positive reinforcement of that subconscious impulse, and providing an emotionally satisfying, proactive outlet, Lapha – or anyone, really – can be made the instrument and enforcer of her own penance.
I know I’ve implied it before, but the simple fact is, I really am a proponent of the socialization theory of criminology. Nobody starts life with criminal psychology. It has to be trained into them, and it can be trained out. It’s harder with adults, yes, but it can be done, and we, as a society, have an obligation to do so where needed.
that was well thought out and a noble goal. Pinwheel was on nickelodeon when i was an older child. I still have teeth grating memories of that theme song….I blocked out so much else… why not that!
I have been told I must never use my powers for evil.
…I just wish “good” paid better. -_-
This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my ‘friends’. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue singing it for ever just because…
Stopped watching TV years ago. But occasionally run across older documentaries and stuff on youtube. But the current garbage is just not worth watching to me. It’s not factual at all and is just scripted bs.
Skinwalker Ranch
Tesla something or another I can’t remember the actual name. As soon as I saw it had the fake scientist guy from Skinwalker Ranch I noped out of watching anymore of it.
There was a treasure in the grand canyon one that was just complete goose chase bs… seriously. There are no-fly zones for various reasons my dudes, and it’s NOT a conspiracy! Even toddlers can watch that and say “this sounds so fake”
Watch some Exosquad Lapha, good ol 90’s mecha cartoon.
Lapha leans something about humans & their TV presentations…
Hollywood is the land of *fiction & fantasy* for a reason. That reason is that the industry is centered around self-centered people who are little more than a self-isolated minority sub-culture that steeps their careers & lifestyles in the very same fantasies & fictions that they create, manufacture & sell to the vast majority for the purpose of entertaining them
So it’s not that hard to understand that a lot of them are on the path to bankruptcy because “entertainment” was thrown out the window in favor of pushing propaganda. Those who no longer entertain the majority are not selling their products, it’s that simple.
Totally unrelated to the topic or the comic in general, I’ve been wondering…Is Lapha even remotely related to “Leisure Suit” Larry Laffer?
Didn’t Sydney get her eyes fixed by alien tech?
No, she got some cuts fixed up and new glasses made. It’s also got a universal translator, so she has subtitles now. And she can recieve and I think send messages with them.
I feel like Sydney’s facial expression in panel 1 is deeply cursed.
Either she’s VERY near-sighted or far sighted, I get the same look when I don’t have my readers on hand. I was very near-sighted but I could still read at 8 inches away, after my cataract surgery I became far-sighted… it’s been a challenge to get used to that much of a change-up. I can barely read average-sized text at 5 feet, but it’s blurry.
Behind Lapha on the seventh panel is a magic rod from the legend of Zelda tears of the kingdom. This is ironic as I have been playing tears of the kingdom for the past week. What is beside it?
Silly question: I just realized that I don’t know what the acronym ARCHON is for. So, what does ARCHON spell out to?
The organization was orignially called A.R.C. which stood for Atypical Resource Commission. In the second arc, if the bank “heist” can be considered the first, Arianna explains that the A.R.C. had been reorganized prior to beginning of the story into a new branch of the military called ARCHON. Presumably the ARC part still is the first acronym. I cannot remember if what the HON stands for was explained.
The damn system ate my comment again.
Thanks, now we need to get the HON part!
The system must be hungry. :)
How bad did Lapha fuck up her eyes?
I’d say quite a bit, which makes you wonder if Lapha’s pal didn’t need to see an “eye doctor” after her using him in their first escape. I wonder just how fancy Sydney’s new glasses are if they can scan her eyes and adjust the prescription that fast.
That dunk on Oak Island is kind of dumb. They’ve had some legitimate discoveries recently: a paved road dating back to the medieval era found under the swamp and an old well that has material at the bottom dating back to the 9th-10th centuries for two examples. Not to mention water testing has shown there is a presence of, to quote the scientist doing the testing, “a dump-truck’s worth” of silver where the Money Pit is predicted to be.
From experience, I can confidently say the Island churns out about 220-250 hr of footage per shooting day, between all the different cameras. Over a Season that’s roughly 25,000 – 27,500 hours of footage.