Grrl Power #1470 – Chicken threat upgraded
Dodging weapons fire, be it from a gun or a bow or even just a Roman Candle, as well as sword swipes, kicks, flails, punches, shuriken, paintballs, etc., is one of those times where having large, relatively unsecured body parts can be a real hazard. Like a tail, or Twi’lek lekku. Or boobs.
Max becomes less jiggly the higher her armor is. She never has the problem of blocking bullets by standing in front of innocents with her hands on her hips, Superman style, only the bullets start going all over the place because of fluid and elasticity dynamics of invulnerable boobs being machine gunned. No, the bullets go all over the place because someone is machine-gunning invulnerable, non-deformable rounded surfaces. That would make for some chaotic reflections unless you were really good at 3D billiards and could calculate ricochet angles at literal machine gun speeds. (Yes, I know billiards is already a game played in 3D, but it’s functionally all on a 2D plane, unless you include hopping the balls over each other. I meant like if the balls were in some sort of 3D space with pockets on the interior of a cube or sphere or dodecahedreon, that had a sort of felt-like inertia field.)
Anyway, I mention all that because I still thought I ought to have her breasts showing a little bit of inertia, otherwise she’d look like some Poser 3D model rendered upside down, Wampa ice cave style, with boobs hanging ceiling-ward in defiance of circumstances.
Of course, you could say the same thing about muscular men. All the beefcake makes your hitbox that much larger. In The Expanse, at some point Amos ask “Why do I keep getting shot?” I felt it was a missed opportunity that no one said, “Because you’re so big.” (The real reason of course is to show the audience that the characters don’t have absolute plot armor.) But my point really is that women of a particular endowment, if they know they’re getting into a firefight, would probably wear a “smush ’em down, hold ’em in place” sports bra vs a wonder bra, and that’s assuming they’re not in a position to don body armor. Max is armored, sure, but is only wearing about 2 mm of smart space latex and some pasties. Trying to wear a sports bra under that setup would make it look like she was laying on her boobs, and like I said, she’s running with enough armor most of the time during the tournament that punching her in the boob would break a normal human’s hand before the boob deformed in any way. Also a Terminator’s hand. A Cameron one, probably not a WH40K one. But then, a broken hand would be the least of your concerns if you tried to punch her in the boob.
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Thomas Doscher writes Vixen War Bride, one of my favorite series lately, and he’s gotten two audiobooks done, but is trying to wrangle up the funding to get the rest produced, which I would very much like to see. He’s got a GoFundMe set up to that end. It’s different than a kickstarter, which would basically pre-sell you the audiobooks. This is just for anyone who really likes the series and would really like to have it all in audiobook format. So, FYI.
Final version is up, both at TWC and Patreon.
Sexy bodymod news lady Gail has a special one-on-one interview with Tournament Quarter finalist Saraviah Nightwing! And if you subscribe to Gail’s Space Patreon, (which, due to the vagaries of Earth and Gal-Net’s DNS servers, happens to be the same as the Grrl Power Patreon, go figure) you can see that same interview in the nude!
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
That whole process actually looked kinda painful for Eats Chicken. Maybe that’s why their name is Eats Chicken. Eating other things is bad for it. That’s why they’re so grumpy.
… Chicken Attack…
winner winner chicken dinner
Nice one!
Cue Touhou’s Night of Nights music!
That’s just rude – Maxima and magic guy were having a moment and chicken has to butt in.
So in other words you are saying Anvil is really good at drawing fire? Because she has both big boobs ad big muscles. Also long hair that she always keeps loose. People overestimate how much grabbing someone’s hair is a problem in fights that aren’t grappling, it got torn away easily, but what they are missing is how much it limits vision.
Long loose hair already obscures a bit of one’s peripheral vision normally but then you turn your head quickly and it’s literally covering your eyes.
I suspect pulling on Anvil’s hair just powers her up.
Unless she doesn’t eat some of that kinetic force to get herself mad at you.
Actually…
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-253-vehemence-unleashes-his-mane-attack/
Anvil should have used the fact that one of his hands is occupied to punch his face or something. Easier said than done though, especially since he outreaches her and was probably faster.
nope.. not directly.. https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-253-vehemence-unleashes-his-mane-attack/
It is entirely possible that the course is reverse… we’ve never really done that much of a deep dive into Anvil and her hair. Anvil may be entirely a storage medium who’s primary storage is her hair. That would mean the more there the hair the more charged the Anvil. Would also extremely explain why she managed to keep it even when being swung by it.
I’ll be the one to say it. Still not enough dakka!!
Da boyz iz royt…
Needz more dakka…
A good start though.
I was expecting the Wonder Woman picture under the link. :)
Someone thought ‘how to give Zelda murder chickens an upgrade?’ and ran with it.
That’s an impressive display of weapons, but unless they are all “smart” weapons, it’s just making noise and it’s shear dumb luck that anyone gets hit. Granted, Max does have the problem of jiggle physics, but that’s part of her charm. (wink) I don’t see anything that critter is doing that would be a problem for Max, an annoyance at best. Now anyone else, sure, it’s a big one.
I think this will be an issue with ‘eat-chicken’. Unless whoever it eats has some sort of ‘infinite ammo’ ability, ranged projectile weapons will become melee weapons in a very short time frame.
I imagine the Eat Chicken can already produce it’s own ammo.
Produce the ammo out of what?
A portal to a entire planet full of ammo? For the purposes of this tournament, that would count.
Out of the same stuff it used to make the weapons.
Itself? Then it would rapidly deplete itself
It was the reason why the liquid Terminators couldn’t make something complicated, like a bomb, or a projectile weapon
I think it would be fair to assume that anyone bringing a gun this arena would have either carry near-unlimited ammo for their ranged weapon of choice, or have the ability to create more ammo as needed. After all, bringing a gun that only shoots few times would be severely handicapping yourself considering the opponents they’ll inevitably face here.
Consequently for the chicken, it would presumably have same capability to conjure more ammo or already have near-unlimited supply of it.
If anything, most of the weapons are energy based, so unless he’s got a nuclear reactor in there, the power has to come from it’s own life force. Eats Chicken is in full “Spray-n-pray” mode here, no tactics at all. Which is bad, it’ll run out of it’s energy fast at this rate. It’s firing enough to take out a fair sized platoon, and missing 90% of targets. The few hits are being defended against or shrugged off, as in Max’s case. This is a desperation move, not a combat move. It would be funny as all hell in the end Max zips in and thumps Eats chicken on the “head,” knocking it out in a messy SPLAT!
Yes, this
Perhaps Eat Chicken’s priority (to the extent that it thinks, which may not be much) is not to defeat everyone with the current suite of weapons, but to defeat just the next contestant and use their power-up plus what’s left from the 1st snack to go after #3. It’s speed-running a sort of Zombie Cascade.
I think Eat Chicken is running mainly on instinct. It has had this feeling many times after eating its’ prey: its’ body changes, and new connections are made with whatever passes for its’ nervous system. It instinctively realizes that it has new power. The urge to use that power and pulling the trigger are both reflexes.
I mean, you might teach a chicken to pull a trigger, but I think that’s about as much as you could expect.
I wonder if Dave B. will treat us to a scene from the Eat Chicken design team’s meetings while struggling to develop the project? The vibe I’m getting is some good ideas subjected to “customer demand project bloat” and several changes of management during the project. Imagine it was developed where Dilbert works.
How did Ryzyl get hold of Max’s sword? The last we saw he was being skewered with it by Max. Hard to believe that anybody could disarm Max.
Max still has her sword, it’s just she’s chopped up several of that guy’s copies, and they’re both swinging their swords while dodging the erratically fired dakka Eat Chicken is dishing out…
Eat Chicken has evolved into Eat TARGETS.
There is a cartoon where Superman and Wonder Woman are getting shot at. Superman asks why she is using the bracelets if she is bulletproof. WW looks at him and stops blocking. After a moment all the gunfire is directed at her boobs which are going wobblewobbglewobble accompanied by much giggling from off panel. Last panel she is back to blocking with bracelets and Superman says ‘I see your point’.
That is the exact comic page linked in the Author’s comments below the comic…
https://kerrycallen.blogspot.com/2015/04/bullet-bouncing.html?m=1
Enjoy
Click the link in the commentary under the comic.
Feels like there’s a cock fight joke in here somewhere….
Well, our author just couldn’t come to grips with the idea, kept slipping out of his hand.
Ultimate hard body.
1. His gun can deflect that hit, either it’s a very weak shot (unlikely,) Eat Chicken can’t employ the full power of what it eats (more likely,) or its a very strong gun.
2. Please tell me that particular weapon it called the Peacock Spray or something similar, it’s too pretty not to have a legendary name. Swords get legendary names, why not cool guns with distinctive ammo?
3. I just looked closer and realized he’s holding a sword, not a rifle. It’s 4am, I just woke up, and I’m not wearing my glasses. I’m going to give myself some grace and let myself be stupid about seeing things wrong.
4. I’m going to be late for work
5. I imagined Eat Chicken getting a taste of Max’s foot and chomping part of her suit off, Empowered-style, and disrupting the hologram (?) so suddenly naked. You can have that thought for free, along with the Maxima-cosplaying-Emp thought. Enjoy.
Wouldn’t it be the ammo that has the cool name, and not the gun?
So could Deus figure out the angles if he machine gun/shot at Max’s boobs? Like one or two to reflect and hit the light switches for mood lighting/music, one to hit the floor pressure panel that lowers the bed from the ceiling into the room, and one to knock off his pant’s zipper so hit pants fall to the floor to expose his impressive member?
I’m pretty sure that Deus – or anyone else – firing a weapon at Max’s boobs is not going to put her in a romantic mood.
Not without a little artistic license. Even small irregularities in the bullet or the target surface make predicting ricochets hard. If the surface flexes or moves, the chaotic factors add up quickly. Once again, don’t believe everything you see in the movies.
I wonder if this process might be bad for Eat Chicken – those weapons are mostly just wasting ammunition, but does Eat Chicken’s body also have to make said ammunition?
The process that integrates the weapons is intelligent enough to integrate the weapons on the outside, but not to aim them and device when they should fire?
Maybe it’s using the ammo from the guy it ate- but if it actually has to manufacture its ammo and isn’t allowed to draw matter from elsewhere through portals, then integrating a bunch of ammo-hungry weapons that fire constantly seems likely to use up all its body mass in relatively short order.
Or maybe it’s made of gravitationally neutralized/contained neutronium or something like it and can evaporate said neutronium into other less dense matter in order to sustain constant minigun fire for the entirety of the tournament.
It looks like a walking, moldy chicken nugget with a mouth.
I think Sydney is the only person so far who has figured out that Maxima isn’t always as strong, fast, tough, etc. as she looks and it’s a balancing act. I wonder if this tournament will give more people the chance to realize that.
Dabbler figured it out too, explicitly stated somewhere (that’s how she managed stalemate when she and Max first met).
You certainly CAN say the same about large, muscular men. Not only do we present much more surface area to be targeted, but more mass = more inertia, making it harder for us to change our velocities. While our larger sizes give us considerable advantages when it comes to momentum and raw impact with our strikes (as well as our ability to absorb recoil with firearms), it also impedes us when it comes to avoiding damage… not to mention that there are weapons where being smaller and more nimble is an advantage.
For example, with ACTUAL swordplay, the nimbler you are the better. Real swords generally weigh less than 4 lbs (and even the massive zweihanders are only about 8 pounds at most), and knives are even lighter. Fencing a petite woman whose footwork involves fewer stepping and more bouncing and gliding is quite the challenging experience.
For swordplay, being closer to the ground is good, but is countered by the advantage that even an inch of extra reach gives.
I’m not sure what bouncing does. It puts you in the air where your ability to change direction is quite limited versus the ability to push against the ground. Though stepping has the same problem.
You’re correct that most female armor, if it’s even a little realistic, generally provides a lot of compression. If nothing else, a relatively flat surface is more likely to deflect a blow. This is why manga and anime often show both male and female fighters wearing a sarashi, a bandage-like body wrapping. It can help protect the more vulnerable abdomen. For women it provides the added benefits of covering and compressing the breasts.
I am so happy I’ve met Wes Chatham aka Amos Burton.
Boob physics is a whole science and I’m sure Dabbler is an expert in that field. Her attempt to study Maxima got her punchen into a wall. That page is still funny after all these years.
The Evil Kirby Cascade has begun!
A *lot* depends on whether its Power-Up Pills have to be still “alive” (in quotes because “alive” can be a difficult concept for machines and demon-powered constructs). It’s now got some toasted Ryzyls to eat, granting spellcasting plus whatever’s in the magic staff-on-my-back that we haven’t seen used.
After that, it could snack on bite-sized pieces of MultiMetal Giant, but if it sticks to things that still move on their own power, Kaboomoid and Zerathax look to be about the right size. Mt Atrocitous looks just too big to be an early portion. Max’s speed and flight may be essential defenses which raises the question of how high she can fly without being disqualified for leaving the arena?
Free Range Chicken Alert!
The range is live.
The chicken is hot, repeat, the chicken is hot.
You know what happened when you smacking chickens too much in Legend of Zelda. Getting definite vibes of that here.
Originally that happened due to a bug. In Zelda the enemies get tougher with every fight – but they cheated a little on chickens because there were so many of them and they weren’t intended to be in combat, and they didn’t want to allocate game resources to keeping track of a set of combat stats for every last chicken. So ALL CHICKENS EVERYWHERE became just multiple locations for one of sixteen(?) “actual” chickens in the game.
When you see a few chickens, it looks natural because each of the six or seven chickens you’re looking at has its own action loop and you don’t see enough of them together at the same time to notice that some of them are doing the exact same movements at exact same time. A lot of the random-seeming movements are the “actual chicken” responding to things that are happening to it in different places. But – and this turned out to be the important part – when you ‘kill’ a chicken it doesn’t die. It just gets that location removed from its list and survives the “fight.”
The in-house testers never noticed this, because they didn’t get around to trying to kill all the chickens.
When players noticed it, the developers were as surprised as anybody, but it was funny and they decided to leave it in.
What happened? I never played LoZ and I’m curious about the bug.
Some players (I think they call themselves ‘completionists?’) went around the game trying to kill absolutely everything that could be killed. Including the chickens. Unknown to them, the chickens were surviving each “fight.” And a creature that survives a fight gets stronger. New ‘chickens’ would pop up an hour or a day after the players left the area, as the “actual chicken” healed up and that location got added back to its list of locations, and these clowns would come back and “kill” them, again and again and again.
Usually they’d one-shot an entire flock with a big area affect that would have been massive overkill if these were in fact what they appeared to be, with the result that they didn’t notice that the chickens were actually tanking more and more of the effect – until the day arrived when, more or less all at once, all the chickens were tough enough to survive it. And that meant tough enough to actually be dangerous to the character.
So after a while players routinely attacking ‘harmless’ chickens discovered that suddenly most of them “survived” the attack. And then getting mauled – or even pecked and scratched to death! – by relentless, angry, chicken-shaped beasts moving twice as fast as themselves, able to peck big dents or holes in their armor, snap their swords with the swipe of a claw, etc.
It was funny as hell to watch.
Which Legend of Zelda game is this? There are no chickens in the original Legend of Zelda, and none of this story sounds familiar.
I think they were canonically named Cuccos or something, but people called them chickens. The bug was exposed in the alpha-test or beta-test stage of “A link to the past” and they liked it so much they made “super chickens” a regular part of the game.
But they made it a regular part of the game meant by “fixing the bug…” meaning they undid the shortcut and gave each individual chicken its own set of combat stats. Entirely over-the-top stats for a chicken, but not as murderous as they eventually became during the early tests.
I thought the mechanic of having chickens get stronger depending on how many you had killed was more appropriate, but by release, they were just strong from the start.
Guess what?
Chicken Butt (Cannon)!
:)
Relative to boobs flying around: she could have worn a sports bra over the skinsuit: not as appealing as “naked looking”, but more practical and “realistic”…
I dunno how easy it would be to find a sports bra that would fit her, Dave’s always struggled to make their size consistent – in this comic, they’re twice as big as they were in the last image of her.
Maybe she’d need a Sports Bra of Holding?
As Cora explained, anything more than a few millimeters thick likely wouldn’t survive the kind of attacks she can expect to face in this tournament, because her personal force field wouldn’t protect it.
Oh… Eat Chicken is a zard!
Ok, that alien reminds me of the manga Toriko. There are these monster “offshoots” that are spawned from the main big baddie near the end of the story, called NEO, and all of those offshoots look really similar to Chicken here.
I had thought Eat-Chicken meant that its favorite food was chicken maybe.
Nope. It’s an Eat Chicken. A chicken that does nothing but eat. :)
It might be entertaining if Max threw the living explosion down Eat Chicken’s throat at high speed.
…maxima’s boobs doubled in volume this page
They do seem to have increased several sizes since the last panel showing her.
There is an older video game, A gauntlet clone called “Get Medieval”, which has a hilarious cutscene at the start with the heroes kind of riffing off each other. Can’t recall what happened in it, but the major punch line “That’s one pissed off Chicken”.
Having ascended to being the CHICKEN and the EGG, eat-chicken was so sad that everything tasted like CHICKEN.
That was unbalanced so he leaned on his EGG side, so he HATCHED a plan: he would taste something different: GRILLED chicken. But for that he had to use Kaboomoid, who was too CHICKEN to show up on this page!
eat-chicken also thought there was a BCOCK joke in there somewhere, she would kill all those who PEEP at her like she was some newly born CHICK. Which she was, and was not in equal measure.
Eat-chicken was annoyed at all the SHELL GAME this clone magic had done with who is the original, and decided to go full DAKKA since she was a WARHAMMER 40K ORC SQUIG at heart; she did not enter the contest to win but to become the opposite of CHICKEN by not fleein, and then the opposite of the EGG by being defeated, so she’d reach her NOT CHICKEN NOT EGG perfect state of being and be served to MORK AND GORK who would fight over the right to eat her for all eternity despite the fact she tasted of plain CHICKEN and EGG like any good squig!
Eat-chicken would have one stray thought of a goal outside her future divinity, she was to hatch Ixah who somehow had the egg nature and needed to come out… was there a CHICKENFOX inside? There was much FOXYNESS in the way she was a CHICK, and that NUGGET of knowledge would PECK at her until the next COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
What happens if you force feed Eat Chicken a large rock?
I was kind of hoping that the multiple outputs would be
a freeze blast,
a flame thrower,
a rocket launcher,
an arrow shooter,
a giant net,
and a swarm of smart bullets
To see if anyone caught the reference to the Zorg ZF-1 in The Fifth Element.
This was supposed to be a separate message
Don’t forget the big, red, button!
the definition of spray and pray
I dunno about how everyone else handles these situations, but I’d very quickly try to negotiate a temporary team-up with the guy I was fighting against to take out Eat Chicken after this crap started up. But maybe that’s my sensory overload talking.
I for one would love the background on this particular beast.
I just realized that each boob is bigger than her head. They do make prominent targets.
Yes, but not consistently. Note that they have doubled in size since the last image of her.
Yes, but not consistently. Note that they have instantly doubled in size since the last image of her.