It sucks to think about, but if aliens did come to Earth and went to the governments of Earth first, instead of landing in Times Square and being all “What up?” we might learn about aliens through the filter of government press secretaries. At least until general tourism opened up. But there would be the first few months where no one could be sure if they were getting a straight answer, and in fact, a lot of people would assume the worst.

I think the point is, if aliens came to Earth, invest in Panicky Survivalist Futures. Which I assume is a bundle of stocks that cover guns, forest camo print clothes, bottled water, spam, hand crank radios, and school buses that will be buried and welded together to make a claustrophobic and labyrinthine bunker. Also tampons. I mean, if you were the only guy with tampons after the apocalypse, you’d probably be set.

But before the apocalypse? That guy is just a lunatic with a buried school bus full of tampons.

Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. $1 and up, but feel free to contribute as much as you like.